Beware of your Wife!
Hey Guys!

Stop being henpecked! There is no need. Its criminal and very dangerous for you and more so for your wife.

As per my research of over 10 years on various women in my life such as my wife, mother, cousins, friends etc., I have reached to the conclusion that they are all repressed beings. Degree varies but they are so to different extent. They need to be liberated. And husband is the only person who can help them get liberated.

But the husband himself is so henpecked and tortured by his wife that he doesn’t even know that he is so. He thinks that he is the king of the house but its not so. However, subconsciously he does know! And as a result he has become frustrated and repressed too over a period of time.

It’s a vicious circle. Man in general has repressed women for thousands of years. Be it the sati system, purdah system, witch craft, polygamy etc., at every stage of human evolution women have been subjected to repression by man. Women’s continuous nagging etc. is not related to this life only but it’s the result of continuous past repression by society from generation to generation that she carries.

The buried sense of frustration and repression comes out as nagging, irritation etc. over her only subject of attack that is her husband. Nobody else is ready to listen! They need to take revenge and husband is the only man they have control over. This makes the man repressed and frustrated too!

Both husband and wife need to participate equally so as to liberate their partner. First and foremost, the wife needs to understand that husband is not a thing that she could possess. He belongs equally to the society, his parents, his friends, his family etc. Its not like after marriage he should be made to lose all his family and friends and only then it would mean that he loves his wife. The fact of the matter is that more he loves the other people, more he shares his love outside, more he would be capable of loving his wife, more he would bring home!

Osho said ‘the only true love is the one that gives freedom, that liberates the other’. Remember, what a wife might call ‘love’ may actually be attachment or obsession, a chain in the husband’s neck.

Similarly, the husband has an equal duty and responsibility towards his wife to give her ample opportunity to get liberated and independent (that might include baby sitting at times!). He has to strike a balance.

Emotional independence is the only medicine for women. More she becomes emotionally independent, more she gets liberated, and lighter that chain in husband’s neck becomes! There is no other way. But as I said it is all interlinked and both partners have to work parallelly for the sake of each other. Both need to understand the equation first and apply their minds. Wife’s basic problem is her dependence (mostly emotional; she has been given the message by the society that she is feeble and needs to depend on man, the father or the brother before marriage and the husband after marriage) on her husband and husband’s basic problem is his henpeckedness. Both are linked to each other. Both shall go away together.

The main culprit is the system of marriage. This legal bondage kills love on the very first day of marriage. It is as if a property dealer is handing over the possession of two properties forever! Parents (under whose custody this transfer of property takes place are themselves sleeping at the time of marriage).

Marriage, to me, is nothing but the permission given by some sleeping people to two sleeping persons to sleep together!

I have found a way out and have experimented also and found it to be successful too!

For last two years or so I have treated my wife as my girl friend instead of wife. The term ‘marriage’ and ‘wife’ and ‘husband’ are so legal that they stink. What has love got to do with marriage? Had there been no bond of marriage wouldn’t I stay with my wife? If no, then anyway I am befooling myself by staying with her. It’s the love not the marriage that should be the reason for two persons to stay together. I dissolved my marriage mentally and felt so free for the first time.

This didn’t give overnight results but over a period of time it has. My new attitude towards my wife gave a refreshing new life to our relationship. She took time but I did my best to make her more and more independent and that chain did get lighter. So much so that now I can freely go out with my old friends late at night and come back early in the morning that too on Friday night! To my relief, she doesn’t miss me and stays happy!

And as I mentioned about striking a balance, I take her out on Saturdays! Now since I am not repressed, I am able to enjoy my wife more than ever. There is no need to carry those long faces anymore. As a result she also feels good inside and gets more and more liberated as I do. So it is gradual and mutual.

Why should I look like my wife’s brother, as all husbands do, after some years of marriage? Why can’t I be her boy friend?

In my opinion, unless this false sense of security in the name of marriage is totally shunned, given away and rejected, human being shall always stay repressed and there is no chance of spiritual awakening. Let love guide you not marriage.

I am not against the beautiful institution of marriage but I am very much against the way we treat, and live in, marriage and the way it has resulted into repression of the society at large. I reject the ugliness attached to it and ready to accept the beauty and fragrance that it generates.

And wives, I know after reading this many of my friends’ wives might restrict my entry into their homes (But I will anyway find a way to meet your henpecked husband! ☺). But I promise you that a little freedom and space that you give to your husband shall prove wonders for you. You can’t imagine how much love he shall shower on you. The love that you have been trying to fetch out of him for last many years shall become freely available! He won’t wait for you to get out of home so that he could call his friends for a party. Next time he shall do so with you staying at home and make you a part of his bachelors’ party! That would be the day of actual love between you both.