The kind of feeling that we get, that we feel, determines the nature of desire for us. A beautiful woman is standing in front of me. If she is my wife, I have a different kind of thought and feeling for her than when she is a stranger. My eyes gave information about the beautiful woman to my mind and it created a specific kind of thought and the related feeling by summoning of energy. This feeling informs me of a desire within me and the kind of feeling informs me about the nature of desire that it is.

Now, having seen the woman what thought I create (I may also create no thought, especially in case of wife), what feeling I create and what kind of desire I feel, all depends on my mind and its tendencies. Also the intensity of summoning energy, the kind of thought and feeling, and the kind of action, all would depend on the nature of mind.

An enlightened mind of a buddha may not feel anything even if the woman is standing naked in front of him. But an untamed mind might lead to a hundred thoughts and related desires even if the woman is fully covered with clothes.

Similarly, when I look towards a beautiful flower, I may have the desire of owning it and I will pluck it. On the other hand I may have the desire to only smell it and appreciate its beauty. Depends on the mind.

Therefore, desire is only the actor. Director is the mind.